


oh my little sister, now we are awake and it seems too much to take (i want to close my eyes because i fear my heart will break)

by stardustgirl



Series: i’m a fool with a curse and a crush (he’s a teenager in love) [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: (Ish) - Freeform, (and there are some debatable reasons for removing one's mask in this), (apparently), (even if she would throw him under the bus in a heartbeat), (kind of?), (one sibling talk at a time), (or like. at least happier than the other fics in this series so far), (sort of? she isnt quite as in need of a redemption in this au anyway tho so), (well more than mentioned it's talked about), (zuko didnt get the memo tho), Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Azula (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Breaking Generational Trauma, Coming Out, Coronavirus is mentioned, Dark, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Girls Kissing, Good Sibling Zuko (Avatar), Happy Azula (Avatar), Homophobia, Implied Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), M/M, Minor Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Oblivious Zuko (Avatar), Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Pining, Protective Siblings, Protective Zuko (Avatar), Religious Conflict, Secret Relationship, Sibling Bonding, Study Date, Texting, Tragedy, Unreliable Narrator, Walking In On Someone, Zhao (Avatar) is a creep, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, and they know if he finds out about azula it'll be bad :(, as in they were supposed to study, but they dated instead :), conversion therapy, in like, it's a tragedy in that theyre both gay and ozai is stupid and horrible, just mentioned and just a brief flashback but, pls help him, the non traditional sense, the title is a lot sadder than the actual fic i promise, white lies, zhao appears only in a flashback but, zuko loves his bby sister and would do anything for her, zuko's just a huge nerd and he can't hide it send help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:54:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25490473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustgirl/pseuds/stardustgirl
Summary: This could be life or death—for either of them, he knows.  But he can see his baby sister trying not to fall apart at the seams and spill her soul out, and if he can keep her held together for even one more day, then he will.  “Oh.  Well, I thought you were referring to the fact thatIclearly, you know, am not interested in girls.”(Or; Zuko, sisters, and shared factors of being.)
Relationships: Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: i’m a fool with a curse and a crush (he’s a teenager in love) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1833397
Comments: 10
Kudos: 435





	oh my little sister, now we are awake and it seems too much to take (i want to close my eyes because i fear my heart will break)

**Author's Note:**

> This one's a lot less heavy than the other fics in the series, but still rated Mature to be safe. Make sure to check the tags anyway though!!

Zuko is returning from a session with Dr. Zhao, dropping his keys with a loud clink onto the countertop, when someone says, “How’d your _doctor’s appointment_ go, Zuzu?”

He freezes.

Azula leans against the doorframe of the kitchen, playing absently with a lock of hair. Her eyes bore into him like Zhao’s words. “I borrowed your phone yesterday. Ty Lee and I were trying to check something, and it wouldn’t work on mine or hers. And, well, you _do_ realize your password is just _so_ easy to guess, of course.”

His breath seizes up in his chest, and Azula pushes off from the wall, taking slow, measured steps towards him.

“So what _I_ want to know,” she says in a low voice, “is why I couldn’t find a single thing on this ‘Zhao’ when I googled him. And Father’s text about him was vague, too.”

Text. Father’s text. He forces himself to breathe, to think think think, to—

Father yelling at him yesterday, about a missed text. A text about Zhao.

Zuko yanks his phone from his back pocket, punching in his passcode and pulling up the thread with Father. He scrolls to yesterday, immediately catching the single text.

_Remember your appointment with Dr. Zhao tomorrow. You know what happens if you skip._

Suppressing a shudder, he clicks the power off and shoves it back into his pocket.

“So, Zuzu, going to tell me what dreadful disease you’re hiding? Because even if Father says that virus isn’t deadly, I don’t feel like getting a knockoff of the flu during a break from school.”

“It’s not covid, don’t worry,” he says, sighing shakily as he runs a hand over his face. “He...noticed I’ve been anxious lately, about the virus, so he was getting me a prescription just so I could focus on schoolwork more and—“

“ _Our_ father, caring about mental health, and particularly about _yours?_ Sorry if that sounds just as unbelievable as everything _else_ that’s happened this year.” She snorts, raising an eyebrow. “What did you _really_ go in for?”

“I told you, for the prescription. He just wanted me to get it over and done with so I wouldn’t mess up my chances of getting into Harvard because I was too anxious to focus on a math test.”

Azula sighs and rolls her eyes, waving in dismissal before walking out of the kitchen. “Whatever excuse you want to tell yourself, Zuzu. I’m going upstairs.”

He takes a step toward the counter, bracing himself on it and letting out a shallow breath in a blurred pantomime of relief.

 _Azula doesn’t know. So Azula will be_ safe.

* * *

He realizes that Azula will, in fact, _not_ be safe, when he opens her door—she’s got Billie Eilish blasting through the house clear down to the kitchen, and he briefly thinks it’s a _miracle_ his father isn’t home right now—to ask if the WiFi is working okay for her and instead finds her and Ty Lee, definitely not six feet apart and definitely not studying for a geometry test because they’re _kissing._

He closes the door quickly and bolts down to his own room.

Zuko slams the door shut, leaning against it and tipping his head back as he closes his eyes. _Breathe,_ he reminds himself.

_My baby sister’s in there making out with one of her equally baby friends._

She’s fifteen now, though. She can make her own choices. Right?

 _My baby sister is_ making out _with a_ girl.

His eyes snap open.

A girl.

His sister. And a _girl._

His sister, _gay?_ No. No, she can’t be. Azula is so much better than him at the whole religion thing, at the whole perfect child thing, at the whole will-likely-get-a-full-ride-scholarship-to-an-Ivy-League-school-just-in-her-freshman-year-of-high-school thing. Zuko’s the complete opposite. He’s everything she’s _not._

His phone buzzes and he drags himself out of his mind long enough to check it.

_great, you scared her off. I’m walking home w her rn but we’ll talk once I’m home tho_

Sighing at the prospect of a _talk_ with his sister—especially a talk about his sister’s _relationships—_ Zuko shoots back a quick _K_ before walking to his bed and falling face-down onto it.

He screams into the covers with all the confusion that fills him.

* * *

Azula gets home maybe twenty minutes later, a flash of irritation in her eyes barely serving to cover the apparent giddiness beneath.

She locks Zuko’s door behind her, raising an eyebrow. He’s in his desk chair, swiveling it back and forth anxiously. She hesitates for several minutes, minutes long enough they feel like hours, before sitting on the edge of his bed, and the silence continues to stretch on.

“Neither of you had masks on.”

“Oh please, Zuzu. How am I supposed to kiss someone if we’ve got fabric over our faces?” she scoffs, and the way she says it so matter-of-factly is just...awe-inspiring to him. He’s not sure why, though. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s even _in_ a relationship like this, that she’s _wrong_ like he is? But that, in spite of that, she’s still so confident and in control of the situation?

It _is_ Azula, after all. Azula’s _always_ in control.

“Fair point. But _please_ tell me that yo—“

“Don’t worry, her whole family got tested a week ago— _including_ all six of her sisters—and they all got negatives. And they haven’t left the house since, except to walk the dog. You know I’m more careful than that.”

“Good, good.”

They fall back into silence, and finally he can tell Azula’s mask is starting to slip. There’s a thread of worry, there, weaving in and out underneath the apathy she projects loud and clear for Father.

“So, what, are we just going to avoid the elephant in the room?”

“What elephant?” Zuko asks, as if he doesn’t know.

“The fact that _I_ clearly, you know, am not interested in boys.”

He’s silent for a long, long moment before replying. This could be life or death—for either of them, he knows. But he can see his baby sister trying not to fall apart at the seams and spill her soul out, and if he can keep her held together for even one more day, then he will. “Oh. Well, I thought you were referring to the fact that _I_ clearly, you know, am not interested in girls.”

They’re quiet again. This time, however, they only last about thirty seconds before Azula bursts out... _laughing._ Of all the reactions he was expecting, this...this was not one of them.

“ _You’re_ queer and _I’m_ queer and our _father_ is the most homophobic man alive,” she manages to choke out in between breaths. “And we were– we were supposed to be his _perfect children?_ How did he manage _that?_ ”

He joins in at that, smirking. Beneath the laughter, though, he can feel the sadness—and the _terror—_ stretching across a previously unfathomable chasm between them.

_What a sorry pair of heirs we make._

Finally, they manage to get themselves under control. Azula sobers up quickly, her expression hardening. “Does Father know? About...about you?”

Zuko doesn’t answer immediately. Finally, he says, “No.”

Azula always lies. And Zuko always tells the truth. Ironically, this time _she’s_ the one telling the truth, and _he’s_ the one lying.

She nods, mulling it over. “We can’t let him find out, then,” she concludes. “About both—about _either—_ of us.”

“No, we can’t,” Zuko agrees, distant. He’s no longer sitting in his room and talking to Azula; instead he’s sitting far too close to his therapist as Zhao murmurs _Come now, it’s not_ that _hard to understand, is it? It’s simply that you’re_ wrong. _If you’re going to like men, then at least like ones that can get you things._

He realizes, for the millionth time—though maybe for the _truest_ time now—that he _cannot_ let his baby sister go through that. Any of it. As much as she torments him, family sticks together, and if neither Father nor Mother will set that example for them then he’ll set it on his _own_ for Azula. By all accounts, according to _their_ examples he is the farthest cry from his sister’s keeper. But by what he knows he _should_ do, Zuko recognizes that he _is_ his sister’s keeper.

And he won’t take that job lightly.

“He won’t find out. I promise,” he lies, and Azula nods slowly.

Then, she asks the question he’s been hoping to avoid: “Is there...is there someone like Ty Lee for you?”

Zuko smiles, hesitatingly. “Yeah,” he says softly, gaze falling to the floor.

His sister smiles. “Tell me about him.”

He doesn’t think he will, but then he remembers Sokka smirking as he watches Zuko unwrap the sweatshirt from their first concert together, his quirked eyebrow and suggestive grin as Zuko tugs it on over his shirt. And he decides that, against his better instincts, he _will_ tell his sister.

“Well, I met him in APUSH, and he drew a _rainbow_ when Piandao was having us do our ‘Future America’ project, and I thought he was—and he still is—the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, and he’s super good at fencing too….”

**Author's Note:**

> Also, to clear something up really quick because I realized I might have misconstrued it; Zuko doesn't have an issue with the fact Azula's lesbian at all. He's just terrified for her because of what Ozai would do if he found out.


End file.
